Bubba died in a fire and his body was so badly burned that the morgue had to call up his two friends to I.D. the body.

The mortician pulled back the sheet, and Jim-Bob said, “Yep, he’s burnt pretty bad. Roll him over.”

The mortician rolled him over, and Jim-Bob looked at his ass said, “Nope, that ain’t Bubba.”

Jim-Bob left the room and then Billy-Joe was asked to I.D. the body. The mortician pulled back the sheet, and Jim-Bob said, “Yep, he’s burnt pretty bad. Roll him over.”

The mortician rolled him over, and Jim-Bob looked at his ass said, “Nope, that ain’t Bubba.”

The mortician said, “How can you tell?”

Billy-Joe said, “Well, Bubba had two assholes.”

“He what…” asked the puzzled mortician.

“Yep, everyone in town knew he had two assholes
‘cause every time the three of us went to town, people would always say, ’Here comes Bubba with them two assholes!’”

In 1991, Duke University funded a study to see why the head of a man’s penis was larger than the shaft. After one year of research and a cost of $180,000, they concluded the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

After Duke published their study, Stanford decided to do their own study. After three years of research and a cost of $250,000, they concluded the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.

The University of Saskatchewan, in mid-west Canada, was unsatisfied with these findings, so they conducted their own study. After three weeks of research and a cost of $52.47 CND, they concluded the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to keep a man’s hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead.

An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the Italian front lines. He had finally been granted rest and relaxation, and had made it to Southampton, England, to board a train bound for a few days in London.

The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only seat unoccupied was directly across from a well dressed middle aged lady and was being used by her little dog.

The war weary soldier asked, “Please, ma’am, may I sit in that seat?”

The English woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, “You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can’t you see my little Fifi is using that seat?”

The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog in the opposite seat.

Again he asked, “Please, lady. Can I sit there? I’m very tired.”

The English woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, “You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also quite arrogant. Imagine!”

The soldier leaned against the swaying wall of the train and again asked if he could please sit down. The lady said, “Not only are you Americans rude and arrogant, you’re also very inconsiderate.”

Without warning, the soldier leaned over, picked up the little dog, and tossed it out the window of the moving train. Then, he sat down in the empty seat next to the speechless woman.

An English gentleman sitting across the aisle, motioned and remarked, “You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you’ve thrown the wrong bitch out of the window.”