From: Dark Shadow ao766@freenet.toronto.on.ca Subject: There outta be a law Date: Tuesday, February 10, 1998 12:50 PM
O’Reilly’s law of the kitchen: Cleanliness is next to impossible.
Lieberman’s law:
Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter since nobody listens.
Denniston’s law: Virtue is its own punishment.
Gold’s law: If the shoe fits, its ugly.
Conway’s law: In any organization, there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person should be fired.
Finster’s law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Lynch’s law:
When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.
Muir’s law: When we try to separate anything out by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.
Glyme’s formula for success:
The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you’ve got
it made.
Mason’s first law of synergism:
The one day you’d sell your birthright for something, birthrights are a
glut.
Hanlon’s razor:
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by
stupidity.
Handy guide to modern science:
If it’s green or wriggles, it’s biology. If it stinks, it’s
chemistry.
If it doesn’t work, it’s physics.
Green’s law of debate: Anything is possible if you don’t know what you’re talking about.
Stewart’s law of retroaction:
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
First rule of history:
History doesn’t repeat itself, historians merely repeat each other.
Oliver’s law of location: No matter where you go, there you are.
Harrison’s postulate:
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Submitted by . . . Billbader @juno.com
This Column is archived at: http://www.ComedyCenter.com/archive/1998/02/E19980210.htm ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Permission is granted to forward or post this Column, provided that 1) the message is forwarded/posted with the subscription and contact addresses and legal disclaimer contained in this signature file are included with the post. 2) no fee is charged. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This column is the official daily publication of these fine sites . . ComedyCenter at http://www.ComedyCenter.com LaughNet at http://www.laughnet.net Cosmos Joke Page at http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Hills/2655/ LAUGHaDAY at http://www.LAUGHaDAY.com Rick’s Laugh Zone at http://web.egr.msu.edu/~thelenri/laugh/laugh.htm TBones ComedyCorner at http://members.aol.com/tbonelafs/index.html ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TO SUBSCRIBE or UNSUBSCRIBE: Send a e-mail message to: Robot@Jokes.cc with the words “subscribe jokes” in the body. or with the words “unsubscribe jokes: in the body ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Direct e-Mail Addresses TO SUBMIT JOKES - Jokes@ComedyCenter.com GENERAL QUESTIONS - Webmaster@Jokes.cc ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ FYI-Autoresponder Infobots Our Policy Statement - Policy@ComedyCenter.com How to add your friends - Friends@ComedyCenter.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LEGAL STUFF: This piece is published as submitted and we do not claim to own any copyright privileges to it. The work was sent to us as an item for the mailing list. If you are a copyright owner of this material, please contact us immediately at Webmaster@Mid-Am.com
=========================================================== My Homepage - http://www.jet2.net/~jbaillie ICQ UIN - 4016080
Under United States law, it is unlawful “to use any telephone facsimile machine, computer, or other device to send an unsolicited advertisement” http://www.ca-probate.com/faxlaw.htm
Canadian laws against spam: http://www.stopspam.org/usenet/mmf/laws/canada.html
A service of Netizens Against Gratuitous Spamming http://www.nags.org/ http://antispam.org/ http://www.cauce.org ===========================================================