88 WAYS TO TELL IF YOU'RE STUCK IN THE 80'S
1.your fondest childhood memory is when Skippy got his head stuck inthe banister
2.you relax by putting on your legwarmers and dancing tothe “Footloose” soundtrack
3.you think the Two Coreys are “totallyawesome”
4.you’re still bitter that Wham! broke up
5.Punky Brewster isyour hero
6.you type all of your term papers on a Commodore 64
7.youstill resent your parents for not installing a dumbwaiter in your houselike Webster’s
8.the only video games you play are Frogger and Pac Man
9.you’re building your own Clockwork Smurf
10.your summer attire isJellies and Jams
11.A-Ha’s “Take on Me” is still your favorite video
12.you consider yourself truly, truly, truly outrageous, much like Jemand the Holograms
13.you wonder why more people don’t wear high heels,Jordache jeans, and lacy ankle socks
14.you call all motorcycle cops“Ponch”
15.every time you go to the beach you look for Snorks
16.you’restill upset Madonna and Sean broke up
17.you know who Stinky Sullivan is
18.you work out with “Get in Shape Girl”
19.you want to be MollyRingwald when you grow up
20.you enjoy dancing on the ceiling andwearing your sunglasses at night
21.you know who Loverboy is
22.youthink there should be a Kids Incorporated original cast reunion
23.youthink of Janet Jackson as “that girl who used to date Willis”
24.you cansing the theme song to Small Wonder
25.every time you see a fountain youwant to dance around it and yell “Fame!”
26.you still have a shoe boxfull of Garbage Pail Kid cards
27.you write your congressman asking himto introduce a bill to make “Born in the USA” the national anthem
28.youstill use your Snoopy Sno-Cone machine
29.you know it’s not “comma,comma, comma” it’s karma
30.you stay up nights wondering what Bastian’smother’s name was in “The Neverending Story”
31.you have nightmaresabout the Peculiar Purple Pieman of Porcupine Peak
32.you still practiceyour Care Bear Stare
33.you know that girls just wanna have fuh-un
34.you can name all The Wuzzles
35.you harbor a secret dream of beingslimed by Alistair
36.you can do the Safety Dance
37.in your spare timeyou are writing “The Breakfast Club 2”
38.you like to “connect the dots,la la la la!”
39.someone mentions Jennifer Beals and you don’t say“Who?”
40.your prized possession is a collection of “Return of the Jedi”Shrinky Dinks
41.you know whose number is 867-5309
42.you get depressedthinking about Anthony Michael Hall’s career
43.you’re starting awrite-in campaign to MTV to bring back Remote Control
44.you drink DietCoke because Max Headroom told you to
45.you consider Jo vs. Blair themajor philosophical conflict of the 20th century
46.you have a duckphone and ride around your house on a little train
47.you want to be oneof the Solid Gold Dancers
48.you still watch things on Beta
49.you wantto change your name to Rio and dance on the sand
50.you know that “WeirdScience” was a movie before a TV show
51.your favorite proverb is “somelike it hot and some sweat when the heat is on”
52.you always waited forthe Sweet Pickles Bus to visit your house
53.your favorite party game isHungry Hungry Hippos
54.you saw the New Kids on the Block when they wereTiffany’s opening act
55.you liked Tom Hanks better when he was acrossdresser
56.you know which Hollywood Square Jim J Bullock was in
57.you practice getting in and out of your car through the windows
58.you have the tendency to turn up the collar of your polo shirts
59.you’re still wondering who really was the boss
60.you know what the“P” in “Alex P. Keaton” stands for
61.you keep asking your teachers ifinstead of the quiz you can take the physical challenge
62.you organizeweekend tournaments of TV tag
63.you still drink New Coke
64.when youwatch “Terminator 2” you wonder where Vincent is
65.you know ALF’s realname
66.you never go out for a night on the town without frosted blueeye shadow and feathered bangs
67.you can name all of the Thundercats
68.you got a hankerin’ for a hunk of cheese
69.everything in yourwardrobe is either pastel or fluorescent
70.your musical inspiration isSonny Mann
71.sometimes you just want to shout, shout, let it all out
72.you’re planning a dream vacation to Mepos
73.you use your Speak andSpell to phone home
74.you know the original members of Menudo
75.sometimes out of the blue you just got to shake your love
76.whenyou’re stuck in traffic you tell your car to engage Turbo Boost and aresurprised when it doesn’t talk back
77.you remember when Vanessa sangKareoke to “Locomotion”
78.you know that Mr. Steele functions best in anadvisory capacity.
79.people are constantly gagging you with spoons
80.your idea of appreciating ancient cultures is “Walk Like an Egyptian”
81.the only thing you know about the Nazis is that they threw Indy tothe snakes
82.you still use your hair crimper before going out on a hotdate
83.you hatch plots to break Murdock out of VA hospital
84.you knowwhich five people Serpentor’s DNA came from
85.you have “We Are theWorld” on 45
86.you’re still sending death threats to Mr. Rubik
87.youcan feel St. Elmo’s fire burnin’ in you
88.you watch NYPD Blue thinking,“Well, they’re no Crockett and Tubbs, that’s for sure”